Pixies & Stardust

Tag: life

  • Why am I Still Here?

    7/30/2013 5:04 PM

    Closing time… Wasted time…?

    Here I am, waiting for the clock to strike 6 so I can leave – few minutes less of an hour to go.

    What am I doing with my life?  Is this really where I should be?  I try to grasp the meaning of this all.  If asked how I ended in this place, I often say, I just went with the flow.  Half-truth.  Circumstances led me here, but it is my indecision, my lack of direction that kept me here.  With that being determined, with that fact laid out there, what’s next?  I have often been told and judged to be too timid to act.  Friends meant well when they try to push me out of this zone, when they pep talk me to leaving this job, when they encourage me to work at Ocean Adventure (yes, to that point!).  Believe me, I took a step I normally wouldn’t.  I did act.  I went ahead.  I resigned.  I enrolled.  And still, I am here.  Resignation denied.  Home-schooling stopped.  What happened?  Was it still my indecision?  Didn’t I fight hard enough?  Didn’t I push harder?  All in the realm of ‘maybe’.  Wasn’t I misunderstood and misjudged once again?

    As a daughter, let me tell all parents out there, be as supportive as you can be of your children.  Do not impose your dreams on them.  You may know best but you are not your child.  Not because you find a career good meant it will be good for your child.  Not because you cannot do it doesn’t mean your child cannot achieve.  And do not compute the money, the time, the effort you have given them and use that to threaten or coerce them to do your will.  Give them wings to fly, and never ever ever tell them they can’t fly.  My parents are supportive… partly, as typical Chinese parents do.  They support you in the arts while you’re young and when you are about to enter the real world, they only support you if you take business or whatever they think will bring in the most financial stability for you – definitely not drawing or writing or teaching or even singing.  If it had been differently, I would be on TV.  They divide your lives in numerical periods –at a certain age you should be like this, accomplished this, and yet they keep treating you like an eleven-year-old.  I know I may not understand yet how it is to be a parent.  I will write about that when the time comes.  But for now, this is the sentiment of a daughter who wanted to spread her wings but found herself caged in.  It is easy for other people to say – go ahead, jump ahead, to push you forward – because they are not the ones who will dishonor their parents.  Sometimes, I do think about it – this is about me and my life, my happiness… and I should be the one in control, not my parents.  But how do you act on something without considering the feelings of other people, especially people who have been with you through the years?  I must say, my parents did teach me well – they did a pretty good job in instilling respect for them, even though they always tell me I disrespect them (when I answer back).  I can be a rebel with a cause, a daughter who fought for her happiness in spite of, the girl who reached for her dreams and (hopefully) found that it’s what she expected and more, and then what? All that is ahead are uncertain.  What I only have is right now – this job, this family, the community and God.

    Sometimes, like today, I am bothered.  An idle mind is truly the devil’s playground.

    I pray, Lord, that you sort through my heart’s desires and take away those against Your will for me.  I ask for Your guidance and for the fulfillment of these desires.  I seek You and Your will, Your plan.  I knock and knock and will keep on knocking until You make a way for the fulfillment of Your will.  And I will hold on to the hope and future You promised, Lord.  And I will hold on to your command to honor and obey parents as it is well for me (Ephesians) and it pleases You. (Colossians).

    When I look to God, when I see Christ, when I remember all that’s been done for my salvation … I know I am not lost, and I have this Hope that wherever I am, God will still fulfill His will for me.  He already has a set time for every event in my life.  I just have to be a little more patient and a lot more courageous.

  • Sunscreen & Other Matters of Life

    Mary Schmich’s “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young” was published in the Chicago Tribune as a column on June 1, 1997. In her introduction to the column, she described it as the commencement address she would give if she were asked to give one.

    Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97. Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience… I will dispense this advice now

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh, nevermind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

    Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real toubles in life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday

    Do one thing everyday that scares you.

    Sing.

    Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

    Floss.

    Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
    yourself.

    Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you suceed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

    Stretch.

    Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year old’s I know still don’t.

    Get plenty of calcium.

    Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

    Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40. Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

    Enjoy your body, use it every way you can… don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it… it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

    Dance… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

    Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

    Do NOT read beauty magazines they will only make you feel UGLY.

    Brother and sister together we’ll make it through. Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there. I know you’ve been hurting, but I’ve been waiting to be there for you. And I’ll be there just helping you out whenever I can.

    Get to know your parents, you never know when they might be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future

    Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

    Travel.

    Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise, Politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

    Respect your elders.

    Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

    Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

    But trust me on the sunscreen.

    **The Title Sunscreen and Other Matters Of Life was the title of the essay I got to read during my freshman days in UP Manila.

  • What The Lily Taught Me

    Last Wednesday, I got a Stargazer from the flower market on my way to work.  It’s a flower I’ve always wanted to have beside me, cos of it’s wonderful color and fragrance.  Little did I know I’d be reminded so much by this lily.  More than just appreciating how lovely they are and how nice they smell, they reminded me of life’s brevity, God’s glory, God’s providence, and His amazing grace.

    As I see a bud opens up, I’m reminded of Matthew 6:28-31.  Why worry?  See the beautiful flowers in the field, even in the short span of their life, how pretty the Lord has dressed them without them toiling that even Solomon was never dressed as lovely as them.   How much more, then, that God will provide for us?  It also showed me how these fragile creatures never hold back in showing off their beauty to bring glory to their Maker.

    Today, one of the lily has withered and it reminded me of life’s brevity; that beauty is fleeting, what is important is to praise God (Proverbs 31:30); of God’s faithfulness in the frailty of this life (Isaiah 40:8);  and the will of the Lord. (James 4:13-16).

    It is in the little things, even the tiny flower that springs up from a crack in the pavement, that teaches us the greatest lessons.  Often, it is in the things we take for granted.  So always keep your eyes, ears and heart open, cos our Father is always speaking to us. (:

  • Repost: Morning Glory @ Donsol Sorsogon (:

    Remembered this blog post of a MORNING GLORY because of the developments with the Stargazer Lily.  (: Thought I’d share this again, cos really, seeing the brevity of a flower’s life yet how beautiful they are reminds us how amazing our God is! (:

    Beautifully opening your eyes to the day
    Kissing the morning dews with the beauty of your face
    The sun rises in the East while you shine your best
    You know that life’s short and you don’t bloom anything less
    When the sun moves west and the day’s about to end
    Your colors start to fade, and with grace, slowly you bend
    You’ve brought glory to our Creator, you’ve done your part well
    Proved that a day is always enough time for one to be his best

    -debi-

    Photo taken: Donsol, Sorsogon. April 2006.

  • Don’t Stop

    No one can have it all figured out. But it doesn’t mean you have to give up with life’s mysteries and stop your yearning to understand.

    Realizing leads to understanding which leads to actions that are geared towards improving your situation. Don’t stop looking for answers, for the missing pieces in your life’s puzzle, they are all out there just waiting to be discovered.

    The best place to start your search is in the stillness of your heart. In the quiet, ask, seek, and you shall find. In solitude emerges self-discoveries that are vital to self-improvement. With the hustle and bustle of our world, it is a struggle to find that moment of quiet. Take the time, find the place.

    I still have a long way to go as I am one who is easily and constantly distracted. Discipline. If ever you question why we need to spend so many years in school studying different stuffs that most won’t be used by us in the future, it’s all about discipline and perseverance. And these are what I need to keep myself from being distracted with the unnecessary. That also made me realize, the decade of schooling wasn’t a waste of years after all. (:

    Bottomline: Don’t stop… Searching, asking, looking, finding answers, believing, praying, trusting. Don’t stop. It may take a while, maybe longer, whatever circumstance, wherever you may be right now, don’t stop.

  • Perfectly Fitted

    Cinderella’s glass slipper, that wonderful dress, that golden band… When they fit perfectly, it’s meant to be. A walk this morning made me realize more. Everything in life is meant to be. Anything and everything is perfectly fitted.

    Your location, your condition, your reality and the resources you have, take a look and reflect on them, they are perfectly fitted for the you today, building up for a better you tomorrow. It may take a while, maybe even longer for some, to really see how the pieces in their lives are perfectly fitting together. But I am certain they all do, and acceptance is one of the key to seeing that. Accept, in serenity, the past and see how it has perfectly fitted in your life to bring you where you are now. Let go of a past that isn’t there, take with you the lessons. Live, with passion, the present as this is the moment of choices/decisions. And only when you have accepted your past and do best with the resources you have now that you can truly live in the present. Then face, with courage and faith, the future unseen. When you live your present with love and passion, you have nothing to be anxious about with the future because the Lord has already taken care of it, He asks that you trust Him.

    Think about it. Where you’ve been, where you are, what you had, what you have, who you had, who you’re with… Everything fitted perfectly in your life. With that, make more good pieces, good memories, good choices, and be assured that they are also perfect fit in your life. ☺