Gratitude

There is a quote, actually there are 2 quotes about gratitude that are deeply ingrained in my brain and heart.  I encountered them decades ago in school

First is that of Meister Eckhart’s – “if the only prayer you said in your life is “thank you”, that would suffice.”

Another one is this: “gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough and more…” – Melody Beattie.

It goes on to say, “It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

If there is one thing, only one thing I am grateful for today, it is that God keeps me.  He didn’t allow my heart to be embittered by the hurt.  It was there, bitterness, creeping in, finding small cracks to crawl in to my heart and enslave it, I felt it, at times it felt satisfying but it scared me.  I tasted the bitterness and I didn’t like it a bit. I felt the coldness.  It made me think, maybe hell isn’t all tormenting fire – maybe hell is actually that cold, dark and sad place of discontentment and vengeance, nothing is enough and everything is wrong.

God kept me, protected me.  Yes, I failed, I stumbled, I sinned – yet He didn’t let me go.  He made sure I would be the better person even when He had to put me into the fire, because I have to be put in to the fire.  He didn’t allow my failure, my sins and my confusion to snatch me away from Him.  He didn’t allow evil to overcome me.  He saw every single tear and knew every broken pieces of me and nothing was in vain.  And for that I AM GRATEFUL.

That is enough for now, for this moment.  

_{11.19.2019 – Debbie}