The overwhelming love of God for an unworthy being – me. He initiated the love, and in response, what have I done? I run towards it, and then shrink away from it with my sins. I plunge into its amazingness and then withdraw and drown in my own misery. It’s like that scene in Tangled where Rapunzel was finally out of the tower and she was celebrating her freedom one moment then feeling bad another moment. Yet for me it’s celebrating how God has freed me and then going back to sinning then feeling bad for sinning. And all the time, God looks at me with love and mercy, waiting for me to realise what I’ve been doing and return to Him. That immeasurable patience God has for me, I have no words.
If only letting go and letting God is easily done as it is being said (in a span of few seconds). Experience has taught me, and most would agree, that it is not the case. I happened to read on this verse from Romans 3:23-25 last night and dived into the grace of God. I knew that grace is God’s gift – God’s mercy, my salvation and the promise of eternal life. Amazing, amazing grace. However, last night led me deeper into what grace is and I encountered these words telling me to guard this grace, to use it wisely and make it increase. How?
Previously I have called Lent the “white space”, the “white noise” of God, the period where winter turns to spring and it becomes cold and eerily quiet, it’s beautiful yet eerie. This time, the battle rages on but our God is ever faithful.
I have been struggling internally with all the emotions and delusions I have – of the deceit and lies the devil feeds my mind. I am unwanted, I am alone, I am made to be alone in this world, I will not find love, I will forever be left behind – name the lies, the enemy has it. Yet, God, in His loving mercy and almightiness knew beforehand what will happen and has sent forth the weapons and help for me. Well, He could have just stopped it but He didn’t, like with Job’s story. And as for me, I could let the enemy fill me with lies and not use the weapons God has been providing me.
Yet here we are, here I am. Faced with all these lies and deceit, God has been feeding me with my dose of Daily Bread, with His Word of Truth and Mercy. It’s not easy, it sounds Continue reading
Because He lives;
Because He forgives;
Because He is God;
Because He is Almighty;
Because He saves;
Because He loves me.
What reasons do I have
Not to believe, not to trust?
Because there’s none like Jesus,
None like God,
Who will take all of me –
Even the broken, sinful part of me –
To embrace them all and love me.
© May 4, 2017
Love your enemies.
Simple. Direct. Crazy. But, why should I? How could I?
In theory, it’s already hard to postulate. In practice, what more? The world sees this as the craziest idea – a world that demands justice, revenge, vengeance sugar-coated into something we sometimes use as ‘I’m just teaching him a lesson’ or ‘He deserves it’. Oh, how kind of us, teaching lessons, giving deserving presents! And the world who loves gossips and dramas would be against a person who quietly accepts persecution and forgives – corny, boring, stupid.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for an eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” Matthew 5:38 – 42
Personally, I struggle with this command. It’s just too hard to comprehend and it goes against lessons the society has taught me growing up. I look at a society that demands Continue reading
Just a word, sometimes two. But when it hits you, it penetrates through the walls you build to protect your self and filter the chaos around you. It breaks them down and opens a hole that it yearns to fill. It touches a nerve that sends signals to your brain that even when it tries to reject it cannot reject the truth. Because your Soul knows it’s true. And your Spirit affirms its truth. It awakens them. Love. Mercy. How I am forgiven and loved, that the Lord moved heaven and earth to save this wretched soul of mine.
Truly, God, in His Mercy, takes care and provides for His flock. For me to be able to join the recent World Youth Day in Krakow is a miracle in itself. He has converted the ‘yes’ into a possibility. I had my reservations going into this trip – with all the chaos going on in most parts of Europe, then as we were nearing our departure via Turkish Airlines, there was bombing in the airport followed by a failed coup less than a week before we leave. The trials never stopped there but with the loving mercy of our Lord, He has went ahead and prepared a way for us.
St. Stephen’s Cathedral, Litomerice, Czech Republic.
Everything that comes into our lives is a moment of encounter with God.
From the homily by Fr. Bert during the Eucharistic celebration last July 25, 2016 at the St. Stephen’s Cathedral in Litomerice, Czech Republic.
It’s not only in the extravagant events or in the ‘fireworks display moment of our lives’ that we encounter God but also in the little moments and sometimes, for us, trivial events that He is there, nudging us, knocking in our hearts, presenting Himself to be recognized by our soul. And it is easy to be distracted and to not see God in the midst of the noise and the activities, with the world presenting you with so much diversions, with sceneries and oh the potatoes. When we were reminded that Continue reading
Whenever I reflect on God’s Mercy, I cannot help but be amazed of the love that He has for His disobedient and stubborn people. I see how unworthy I am of such love and how faithful He is for keeping His covenant in spite of all that the other party, we, does. Seeing this love always drives me to tears and gratitude and makes me see that all other things matter less in this world.
One parable commonly told is that of the prodigal son, in other texts it is entitled the parable of the Merciful Father and rightly so. Often the focus is on the son who Continue reading
He who loves me,
He who cares for me,
He who holds me in His hands,
He who never lets me go.
He who calls me,
He who chooses me,
He who keeps me under His wings,
He who steadies my heart.
He who disciplines me,
He who forgives me,
He whose mercy never fails,
He who never lets me fall.
He who strengthens me,
He who sustains me,
He who gives me His life,
He who is forever faithful.
He is my Dad,
He is my King,
He is my God,
To Him my heart sings.
©djklmnopi 11:32 10.22.2015
Whenever we are tired and hurt, our response often is to hide, to run away, to deny, to turn around, to be cast down. To feel hurt is okay, it makes us human, it evidently shows we have a heart and we can feel. It is good to feel – it is our check and balance in life. To feel tired, to feel offended, to feel hurt.
It is also good to know that every time we hurt, every time that we want to scream and ask ‘why?’, every time we feel there’s no way out and we’re pushed to the wall – it’s wonderful to know we have this hope, a real hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, we have God.
Jeremiah is one of the prophets I love reading about. Jeremiah lived through the horror of the exile and he saw God’s hand in the salvation of the Jews from exile. He saw how the people of Israel has disobeyed God and He saw God’s mercy towards them. He was a part of that twisted and disobedient generation yet He held firm to what he know about God. He is someone who knows God and therefore He understands God and He knows that no matter what, even when physically he’s tired and mentally he’s exhausted, Jeremiah still put his hope in the God he knows – the God of mercy and of love.
We may go through deep waters, we may be exhausted with life’s problems, Continue reading
There’s a song that my heart is singing
A song that gives my life meaning
Shouts of joy so overwhelming
Praises I raise to the Almighty Being
Once in darkness I was wandering
Lost, confused, kept on stumbling
Caught on dead ends and cliff-hangings
Uncertain future that keeps evaporating
A voice so still, I heard it calling
Red droplets from above keep falling
A light from faint to bright keeps glowing
My feet, towards it, start moving
Sunshine never felt so inviting
Flowers never smelled as pleasing
Hope never been solid and enduring
‘Til that fateful day my Saviour caught me
So my heart will keep rejoicing
Until the day of my Saviour’s coming
I will bask in the light of His mercy
And of His passion, of His love for me.
02.06.14 09:35 ©djklmnopi
In this moment
As I sit in silence
I feel the vast emptiness
The void I cannot fill
And at this moment
I search for answers
I try to come to terms
With reasons I feel
My tears, they fall
I’m ready to drown
Yet my tears aren’t enough
Even when a river I’ve cried
For Your mercy
Is the ocean they flow to
And Your love
Is the limitless horizon in view
It’s in this moment
That I’m caught in Your grace
Your love fills the emptiness
Your resurrection, my seal
Written: Thursday, February 06, 2014 9:00 AM
Few days back, I started writing down tidbits of praise and prayer. The back story for how it started and why:
I sat contemplating about envy, anger, things happening around me, things going on inside my head, temptations I fight and failed to fight. Then, I am inspired by St. Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth…
2 Corinthians 12:9
“ But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
By His Cross, I see my sins and shame crucified.
By His Resurrection, I see my salvation and victory.
In my weakness, I see His strength.
In my sins, I see His mercy.
In my fallen state, I see His unconditional love.
I am made perfect in my weakness, through His strength.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made, flaws and all.
I am perfectly flawed for His glory.
I am His child, so dearly loved.
I am a child in awe of my Father, my God, my King.
And I will sing and proclaim His goodness, His mercy, His grace, His love, and this Hope through His gift to me – writing.